This may sound like it’s geared toward women but men, read along. There’s plenty in here for both of you.

So. We’ve all been there. A cute guy that I’ve hung out with in the past suddenly texts saying he wants to hang out. He suggests cooking me dinner, and I get suspicious. Is this a date? Well, some of you would allow yourselves to wonder and fret but go along for the ride only to experience the awkward moment when you both reach for your wallets or when he leans in for a goodnight kiss that you totally weren’t expecting. But there’s a simple solution. 

If you aren’t sure if it’s a date: ASK! It may be uncomfortable but believe me, you’re going to want that clarity later. And hey, boys? There’s a big difference between a “friendly get together” and taking a lady out, so be clear regarding your intentions. If you’re just too painfully shy to ask him what the deal is, then a general rule of thumb is this: If he says he wants to take you somewhere, it’s a date. If he says he wants to cook for you, it’s a date. 

(And it may be 2012 so women can ask men out and anyone can pay the cheque, but don’t you dare ask anyone out in a text message!!!)

Being the bold woman that I’ve learned to be after ending up in one too many awkward situations, I determined that he did intend for this to be a date. I was filled with questions. Why was he texting me after midnight? (Typically that only means one thing.) Why is he suddenly wanting to romance me now after we’ve known each other for nearly a year?

Ladies, when a man who has known you a long time shows romantic interest out of nowhere, there is one important question you NEED to ask yourself to avoid getting hurt: Does he want YOU or does he want COMPANY?

In my situation, I told this man that I wasn’t really interested in dating at this time because I’m sick, to which he replied, “Why not let someone take care of you?” I laughed, and wrote back, “With all due respect, where have you been for the last 9 months that you’ve known I’ve been sick?”

The bottom line is that guys like this (or girls, for that matter) only come around when they’re lonely. They’re laying awake at night wishing they had someone beside them and wondering who they should text to fill that void. Do not mistake that for genuine interest! Maybe you’ve secretly wanted this person for a long time, but you can’t win them over now if you couldn’t before.

Go ahead, go on the date if you feel like it would be a fun experience, but don’t get your hopes up, because nine times out of ten nothing will come of it. If there were really that much chemistry between you, it would have gone somewhere long ago. The exception to this rule is obviously if either of you had a relationship when you first met. But if you were both single when you came into each other’s lives and the most you’ve gotten out of it was an average makeout sesh, then nothing’s going to change that now!

It’s not really going to matter if you DO say yes to the date, because Lonely Guy has no follow through. If you don’t believe me, the proof is in the pudding here because Lonely Guy didn’t text me on date day until well after dinnertime had come and gone. Luckily, I wasn’t waiting. ;)

Don’t waste your time with Lonely Guy or Girl because the right one is out there, and remember - someone who doesn’t text or call when they say they will doesn’t respect your time, so to them we say, SEE YA!

Love & blessings, 

Missy Deyo

(If you want advice or have a funny story to share about dating, sex, relationships or life, email me at missdeyo@live.ca - your anonymity will be protected!)