Right away, you girls who refer to yourselves as bunnies or claim to be “for the boys” are already crossing your arms and putting on a pouty face. I call you “girls” quite intently, because very rarely would a woman over the age of 23 refer to herself as a bunny, and it’s typically only boys (or a few men stuck in perpetual teenagedom) who enjoy it. Puck bunnies do not like to be targeted, which is interesting, considering you invest so much energy into making a name for yourselves. You clearly seek attention and revel in flattery but seem deeply offended by any criticism, claiming that any woman speaking out against you is jealous. However, that’s hardly the case.

Now, a few years ago, I had heard the term “puck bunnies” a couple of times and laughed it off, thinking it wasn’t extremely popular, reserved mostly for Halloween costumes and girls with very bad reputations. (If hockey isn’t your sport, feel free to replace “puck bunny” with “cleat/jersey chaser”.) As a Canadian, I was raised religiously on hockey. My Grandpa played for Canada, my siblings had real talent for it, and so did many of my friends. Sure, I had a crush on Darcy Tucker and Ponikarovsky, but for me, that’s pretty much where it ended. I didn’t know their personal lives and didn’t feel that I needed to. For me, I had enough satisfaction sharing in the trials and tribulations of my team from trades to trophies. I knew my favourite hockey players were likely up to no good with the ladies, but I didn’t care, and I sure as hell didn’t care to be another notch on their belt. It wasn’t until the last year or so that I was exposed to an entirely new hockey culture developing - on Twitter. 

No longer does a fan have to patiently wait at signings, get to the stadium stupidly early or write endearing letters to agents and PR staff, they now have direct access to the athletes they adore and it’s all thanks to Twitter. If a fan has good timing, sharp wit, or is super hot, they often get responses or can even develop friendships with boys in the show. I should know - that’s how I’m able to conduct interviews with so many of them for my website, www.sportsbabeoftheday.com. Unfortunately, this means bunnies don’t have to shell out big bucks to sit scantily clad beside the penalty box. Toss out some clever tweets with a lot of self-promotion and mix in some nearly-naked “pic slips” and voila; you set the bait and catch your prey, hook, line and sinker.

Some of you are thinking, “So what? What or who athletes do is their business.” Ideally, yes, that would be true. Except it’s not. Smart athletes are the ones who keep their cards close to the vest in the poker game that is life. They trust few, share little and for that reason are able to keep their head in the game while maintaining everyone’s respect. They live that way because they realize that in today’s modern world, so little is sacred, everything is accessible via the internet and it’s harder and harder to live under the radar. But while it’s awful that in order to chase their dream the pros need to navigate these pitfalls, it’s worse still for you bunnies, who so often have no idea the lasting and horrendous self-image you’re creating.

The self-image you bunnies think you project is one of a girl who would stand by her man from Junior A to Stanley Cup, who cares for the team in a motherly or “wifey” role by fetching beers and making sammies, and whose love and support is crucial to her man’s success. But in reality, you end up being the team bench - everybody rides the pine once. “Puck bunny” isn’t what real female hockey fans call themselves - it’s just a word that’s now synonymous with “slut”, “whore”, “ridden”, “used”, and a plethora of other titles earned by a woman who is known to sleep with as many people as possible to advance her position in life. And that’s a reputation that isn’t easy to shake once its made.

Align your reputation with the puck bunny or cleat chaser lifestyle and you may as well slap stickers on your forehead that say, “No Self-Respect” or “Use Me.” Plenty of boys (not real men) may come calling, but honey, that ain’t no compliment. A bunny is the ultimate submissive, declaring to the world that she exists solely for others’ sexual pleasure and amusement. For any female to belittle herself so is a sad, sad thing. 

Sadder still is who truly suffers the most from all of this, and that is the female sports fan. Women, from broadcasters to athletes, have worked hard to be taken seriously in the sports industry, including the female fans. It’s discouraging that after all the blood, sweat and tears from the women before us, it often feels like our primary role in the sports world is to serve as eye candy. Thankfully, that isn’t so, but the more attention we give these girls, the more difficult we make it for women in the sports community.

Professional athletes will all have their fun and enjoy the perks that money and fame bring, but when they’re ready for something real and lasting, they look for the kind of woman who is strong enough to make hard sacrifices, selfless enough not to draw attention to herself, and loyal enough to remain at his side when the glory begins to fade away. Some of them even do background checks and have confidentiality agreements - so you’d have to kiss your Twitter fame goodbye. A lot of major and minor league teams have meetings to warn the players about girls like you. The boys may cave to sexual weakness for a night but you’ll never be the kind they take home to mama.

The bottom line is at the end of the day, what is chasing a professional athlete really worth to you? Is it worth descrating your reputation? Is it worth pushing away the kind of men who could really love you because they’re embarrassed by your behaviour? Don’t you have your own ambitions? Didn’t you dream of something better for yourself as a little girl?

I don’t sit from a throne of judgment. My mantra looks a lot more like, “Been there, done that, learned the hard way.” So please, girls, heed my advice: Embrace the game, love the players, give it your heart and soul, but for God’s sake, drop the damn bunny act - doing so just might earn you the admiration you’ve been seeking.

As always, love & blessings, 

Missy Deyo

(Contact: missdeyo@live.ca for Dating, Relationship & Life advice and all other inquiries.)